A Feminist Dating: Why Want It Anyway?

I have a picture of Alice Paul and Susan B. Anthony marching with their purple sashes down the streets of Washington D.C; their pettycoats tarnished and tattered, their strength exploding on their faces as they march on tiny black boots.

I read about women who stand up against violent and oppressive governments for their simple rights--to clean water, healthcare, the freedom to divorce. I read about women who start hospitals in desperate places, unveil fortitude in the midst of hatred, and who speak their minds beautifully and eloquently--and I ask myslef: would I be as brave?

Would I have had the gumption to do what Alice Paul and her fearless comrades did? Would I have been able to open my mouth in a world that told me to shut up? Would any of us? I'd like to think, being the woman I am, that yes, without a doubt I would have been as courageous.

My grandmother says things like, "I never had the opportunities you do, we never could have done that!" I think about the hours, the tears, the sweat, the blood, and the fight that was spent so that I can live the way I am. Women were jailed, beaten, starved and ridiculed so that I can own my own body and not only discuss politics but have a say and be in positions of power in politics.

And so when I find myself spending time wishing for a partner, I feel something like guilt. Not quite guilt, but like guilt. I know I have revolutions to fight and demons to master in this world, and I truly know with my whole being that I am here to change the world one girl at a time. And I sit and think to myself how many women would have given anything to live like so many women do today: single, self-sustaining, self-governing, and self-sufficient.

Yet, I still want someone to share the fight with. I want to fall in love and have that love inspire me further. I wonder how, as young feminists, we balance our need to be independent and our draw to change the world, with our need to be loved and our understanding of how important and powerful love is. Is it compromising our dedication to the fight for equality--or is it an innate human desire that can be beneficial and is necessary?