Geese, Pigeons, Sea Gulls, and Deer: The Inappropriate Fears of a Chicago Running Chick

I am now comfortable in calling myself a 'runner'. (Sidenote: I am not fast.)

I have some highly inappropriate fears for a runner. Most runners fear the chaffing, the cars, the bikers, or the elusive runners shits. No, I have embraced those other running speedbumps whole heartedly. I worry about an entirely different species when running.

This all started running at Miami, in good old Oxford, Ohio. I would run through some dense forest trails that I deeply miss every day for their serenity and anonymity. One day, as I was heading down the narrow footpath through the thick of the woods, I came around a corner and was face to face (okay so there was a good 20 feet between us) with a doe, have you. I stopped full in my tracks, staring down the doe.

The doe did not move.....
I did not move.......
The doe took one step closer to me.......
I turned and high tailed (no pun intended) it in the opposite direction as fast as my feet could carry me. What the heck was I supposed to do if the doe attacked!?!

I ask the same question about geese, pigeons, and sea gulls. Running in Chicago, one encounters all three urban predators. Particularly along the inner bike path by Lincoln Park Zoo. A nippsy rustle of geese gather menacingly on either side of the path. As I'm running through them, I am suddenly overcome with the worse wave of anxiety. What if the geese attack? What if they are not as immune to humans as we think, and they come after me! Their beaks babbling up and down as they squeek and squail, their ugly wings fluttering and flapping.

I notice the other runners, walkers, children, parents with strollers, bikers, lovers strolling casually etc.... all passing through the geese...as if there is NOTHING to fear.

I just KNOW I will be the one they choose to attack, and in front of all those people nonetheless. The worst part is, as I'm planning my escape route in case of an attack, I realize that whichever direction I run, I will be attacked by more geese! The geese are everywhere. When one attacks, do they all stick up for their brother?

I pick up my pace, considerably, when running through the geese.

I have also had the experience of having a face off with a pigeon while riding my bike.

Runners and Triathletes NOTE: Geese=Lincoln Park Zoo Pigeons=Buckingham Fountain

The other morning I was pumping away on my fabulous rode bike I like to call Dwayne, after Dwayne Wade..duh!

As I am coming up to the portion of the bike path which parallels Buckingham Fountain, I notice an entirely too ugly pigeon standing in the middle of my lane a few yards ahead.

"Ok, Cor, it's going to move. Don't worry"

I get closer.

The pigeon doesn't move.

I get even closer.

Still the pigeon does not move.

At this point I can't really divert my path without running over some innocent bystander, so I decide to go full force into the pigeons personal space.

The pigeon now decides to move. As I am coming upon it, it flutters in a sloth like way too close to face. I swat at it, duck my head and almost fall of my bike because my feet are trapped in the pedal straps.

I am not sure who won the face off, me or the pigeon.