Thanks to the wonderful movie, "When Harry Met Sally", we have the famous conversation about men and women being friends:
Harry Burns: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally Albright: Why not?
Harry Burns: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally Albright: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: You only think you do.
Sally Albright: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry Burns: No, what I'm saying is they all WANT to have sex with you.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: How do you know?
Harry Burns: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally Albright: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry Burns: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Sally Albright: What if THEY don't want to have sex with YOU?
Harry Burns: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Sally Albright: Well, I guess we're not going to be friends then.
Harry Burns: I guess not.
Sally Albright: That's too bad. You were the only person I knew in New York.
Sally Albright: Why not?
Harry Burns: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally Albright: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: You only think you do.
Sally Albright: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry Burns: No, what I'm saying is they all WANT to have sex with you.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: How do you know?
Harry Burns: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally Albright: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry Burns: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Sally Albright: What if THEY don't want to have sex with YOU?
Harry Burns: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Sally Albright: Well, I guess we're not going to be friends then.
Harry Burns: I guess not.
Sally Albright: That's too bad. You were the only person I knew in New York.
So my question to you, dear friends, is can men and women ever truly be friends?
Why is it that when you agree to hang out with someone of the opposite sex, it is automatically assumed you want to get in their pants? Is it that outrageous to simply like someone in an entirely platonic way and want to create a friendship?
According to Harry, yes.
Yet I refuse to let this get in the way of a good friendship. Finding someone who you can have great conversation with, that does not have to do with sports, beer, or work (although all of the above are necessary conversation topics at certain times), why not respect the other person as a friend?
And word to the wise men, not ALL women want to date you just because they talk to you! Just sayin!
1 comment:
hmmmm. this is tricky. I think much of the time the answer is no. or at least yes until someone messes it up.
I have found that I can truly have platonic friendships with guys that I have dated in the past. mainly because we got that whole attraction thing out of the way, it didn't work for whatever reason and now we can be chill friends.
I think it might be able to be boiled down to a curiosity killed the cat situation. because if you are friends, which would insinuate you think they are cool...and you are single...and they are single...isn't it just a matter of time before you test it?
this, however, does not explain guys who are otherwise engaged freaking out like you threw yourself at them when you most certainly did not. THAT is a classic depiction of underlying issues on his part.
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