Secrets from the past

It is so funny what we carry around with us for years and years. What is even more intriguing is the memories that we carry with us from childhood. If anyone who reflects as much as I do knows, we can't remember our childhood completely; but simply in snapshot memories, in feelings, in smells, in sounds, in pain, and even sometimes if we are lucky we can remember an exact action.

Here is what I remember. My Aunt Corky lived a few doors down from my family growing up. My two cousins were basically my big brothers and I will never forgive them for the good cereal they ate and the ESPN abuse they inflicted. Aunt Cork was a single mom and her house was small and quaint. It had a distinct smell that she still carries with her today and has brought to each of her new homes. This particular house was a 2 bedroom house with a set of very narrow and steep stairs that led to an attic room that she had converted into her bedroom. I would spend time at my Aunt Corky's whenever I needed to re-energize my spirit.

One day I was spending some time alone in her upstairs attic bedroom. I remember the dark room, the messy bed and the clothes splattered around the room. In the corner next to her bed, was her old fashioned, over crowded jewelry box full of stuff Aunt Cork never wore. In the special drawer for rings, in the last slot was an old, old, tarnished opal ring.

I remember knowing I should not take the ring. But I took it anyway. I put it on my finger and decided to leave. I don't remember why I took it, or what I thought I would do with it.

The next day at church, my mom asked me where I got such a pretty ring. "I found it in the parking lot", I replied. To which my mom proceeded to make me turn the 'found' ring in to the lost and found.

For 20 years I have not said a darn thing about that ring. About three years ago I started to think about it. Then, randomly, my Aunt Corky jokingly referred to the ring she misplaced that belonged to my great Grandma Connie. The funny thing is, Grandma Connie is the first Corrine; and I being the 4th Corrine would have loved to have that ring. However, because as a 5 or 6 year old I thought it looked "cool", we will never know where the ring is.

Today I finally came clean with Aunt Cork. I told her. She laughed and told me that Grandma Connie was probably laughing in heaven about this. It feels great to have it off my chest but why do we do the things we do? Even as a young woman, I remember some of the things I have done, or even some of the things I do, and I just don't know where the decision making process goes.